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Talk:Polar Zone/@comment-27725192-20170710192144
JUDGING FOR WFWA First of all, I love that little intro at the beginning. That's quite a sophisticated backstory and perfectly placed because this is the type of backstory that needs to be in the reader's mind as background knowledge for the story. Also, interesting vocabulary! I also wonder who Brookfur is. Does she play a part in the story or does she just have the job of introducing the readers? I. Okay, I love the potential you've put into Lucifer, you've developed him so much in the first chapter! Like, how do you do that? Greer is a very interesting villain so far. She has the perfect amount of cruelty in her - like torturing Lucifer as a kit until he learned to resist the pain. I'm glad Lucifer hates her instead of letting her use him, though. Wow, the Snow Guard is quite jumpy. What is so scary about Lucifer? Why can't they just take the time to know him? Is he scary-looking? I also love his attitude rather than being a sentimental sap, he's quite cold on the outside and adapts to Greer's ways to make himself a better cat. I love this beginning so far! II. Can I say how an awesome name Everly is? :D Okay, so anyways, this she-cat that Lucifer was about to attack just lost her family that same day? Wow, that must've been pretty scarring. I dunno about you, but I would've preferred it if the incident happened a few days before she met Lucifer cause 1) she still would've been scarred and 2) it just seems too sudden for Everly to take. But anyways, I like how Everly isn't that one awesome she-cat who can do anything and everything but she's also not that whiny she-cat that can't do anything. She's kind of in between, she's kind of a coward and gets scared easily but she isn't afraid to defend herself especially when it comes to Lucifer. She also seems sympathetic as she pulled Lucifer out. Oh man, the wolves! Are they going to play a huge part in the plot? Like those secondary antagonists that appear at every single wrong moment? Because that would be cool!! Anyways, ooh la la Lucifer and Everly locked in a cramped area together. I'm sensing a ship! (Cause you know protagonist 1 and protagonist 2 usually end up together) III. Wow, I see Everly has a lot more potential than it was visible in the last chapter. I was kind of hoping she had done something before fleeing. She also seems to lack in self-confidence because she really seems to be a great fighter but doesn't really believe so. Aaahhh, Everly don't give up! There is so much more you must live for (Lucifly) and it was quite realistic when Lucifer was upset with her for counting and that must've struck a nerve. But still, that was quite an idiotic move on his part. Oooh is this a Gathering? And what does Moonstar mean by Greer's pet? Yaaassss Everly is so awesome! And I'm glad Lucifer can see right through her so he knows she's worth having as an ally. IV. Wow, of all the cats Everly could choose it had to be Sasha. Which is pretty awesome, I mean. I love how you chose that one seemingly annoying cat to develop. I quite like Sasha now so that's pretty good. I was kind of expecting Lucifer to be all like, "Why are you talking to her of all cats?! Seriously Everly, I was beginning to like you!" What he did say kinda surprised me, why is information so precious in the mountain? Especially with a cat like Sasha. Does Lucifer not trust her for some other reason then "Aaaahhh Lucifer's so creepy I hate him!!!" Oh Everly you twist this plot in such a wonderful way and aahhh Lucifer followed herrrr but seriously Everly why did you choose Greer's quarters? Just why. Oooh...Now I'm imagining a witchy cauldron filled with swirly, thick, purple liquid that is eerily hypnotizing. Whoa, magic! I love how Lucifer and Everly are suddenly whisked away TOGETHER (FOREVER) and yeah <3 <3 I'll be continuing this comment in a different one cause I want to give you enough room to reply so ~